markpasc (markpasc) wrote,
markpasc
markpasc

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A minor mutation spurs extreme change in the host

Once upon a time there was a man who wanted to help people very much. He studied hard and became a doctor, but became displeased with how difficult it was to help some people. Shortly after, he was visited by Billy the Australian Leprechaun, who granted him the power to suck illness out of the bodies of his patients and consume it. (This caused rainbows to fly out his ass after digestion, usually aimed at nearby dropped pennies, which he found inconvenient in a professional setting but a small price to pay.)

One day a man came in complaining of an itch in his heel. “I had like a burr or something in my shoe, and now I can't stop scratching at it. It's really distracting me from work at my Web 2.0 startup, monetizing Ajax eyeballs on Rails!” The doctor, long accustomed to using his special power, immediately asked him to remove his shoe and lie down, so he could thoroughly clean the area and thus proceed to suck the itch out. Afterward, the doctor started to feel woozy. “I'm suddenly so sleepy. That doesn't usually happen,” he said. At precisely that moment, Billy the Australian Leprechaun appeared in a puff of smoke, turned to face the doctor, and said, “Of course you do, that was a barb-itch-you-ate!”
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